i don't plan on having that self control this summer
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
