I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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