The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Randomize
