We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
