does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
operation have a gay friend backfired
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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