On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Randomize
