I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
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