haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Randomize
