That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Randomize
