that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
that may or may not have been my penis.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
