he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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