As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
