is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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