I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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