if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
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