she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
How does it feel to date your dad?
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
