Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
