I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
