i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
