I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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