I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I pour the whiskey from now on
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
