Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
