Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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