On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
