Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Randomize
