Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
