The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
He keeps bees of course he's weird
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
