Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
