So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Randomize
