Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
