I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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