In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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