ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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