BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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