I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Randomize
