These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Randomize
