It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Randomize
