Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I will be naked everywhere
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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