Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
