..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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