how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize