i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
