I love black thongs
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
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