I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
