I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
