Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
