U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
