Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Randomize
