Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Randomize
