Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
So. Much. Porn.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize