She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
